Beyond the Sea
by Caitydubbelyew
Summary: "I shan't tell you my name though you have heard it before. None but Galadriel, Elrond, Celeborn, Círdan and Gandalf know that it belongs to me. The Dúnedain call me Tauvrennil, and everyone in Imladris has adopted that name. You may do the same." NOT 10th walker. Mostly bookverse. Currently on Hiatus to re work the beginning, but is planned out to the end.
1. Who Knows Where

Chapter 1: Who Knows Where

When the mess that I'm in now happened I was alone, as usual. The psychologist that I've been seeing since I was twelve years old has said that it's a defense mechanism. If I'm alone most of the time, I'm not around people, if I'm not around people, I can't get close to them and if I'm close to no one then no one can hurt me. This arrangement works well, but it is also very lonely.

She's right, of course, and I know that I shut out and push away anyone who gets close. It is for this reason that in the year I have been away overseas, I haven't been homesick once. If anything I've missed the things, weather, and outdoors of my country more than my family and friends.

I cant quite remember what I was supposed to be doing only that I was waiting at the bus stop and that I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up I was in a totally different place. I was on the top of a large hill inside an old ruin. I wasn't wearing the clothes I had been earlier that day, rather I was wearing a collection of things that I recognized as being from my home. This was strange as I hadn't been home in almost a year.

I was dressed in the clothes I would usually use for hiking or other outdoor activities. Khaki trousers, a belt with my pocket knife and basic first aid and survival kit hanging off it, hiking boots, thick socks, a t-shirt and, strangest of all, I had my mothers long, grey cloak pinned around my shoulders clasped around my neck with my granny's gold and ruby brooch that had been given to me after she died. My hiking pack was lying next to me so I opened it and emptied the contents out onto the ground.

Everything inside it had been sealed in vacuum-packed bags so there were a lot more things inside than I would usually been able to carry. There were clothes: several different packages of them, which I would not open to look inside because I would never be able to pack them back in otherwise, several days supply of rations, a bivvy sack (big, extremely durable plastic bag big enough for a person to sleep inside) and my sleeping bag. A billycan with a first aid kit and survival kit inside had been hanging on the outside of the pack along with my water bottles which were both full.

I repacked everything, took off the cloak and rolled it up and strapped it to the outside of the pack then hoisted the whole thing onto my back and climbed up to the highest point of the ruin and looked out. The country around me was flat with a mountain range on the eastern horizon and nothing but a line of hills rolling into flat green country in the north.

The west was more interesting. About a days journey beyond the foot of the hill I was on lay a marsh, beyond that was a small wood on a hill and around that hill were several villages, one larger than the others. There was a road running from it, past the southern end of my hill, and toward the range far in the east disappearing from view behind a dark ridge some way off. Further south there was open country with patches of woodland and here and there you could see a river or rivers which disappeared from view.

I decided to avoid the marsh by going down the mountain to the road, then to head westward toward the town. I wouldn't be able to make it that far in less than two-and-a-half days but I should be able to get to the edge of the wood and camp there by the second or third night at best and then carry on into the town the next morning.

Having made up my mind, I climbed down the mountain and made my way toward the road. I stopped just before I reached it, sat down on the grass and fished out something to snack on while I walked.

Travelling along the road was easy going and I made good progress. I stopped to camp for the night atthe edge of the marshes. The next morning I rose early, for me anyway, and set off. The bugs from the marsh had woken me by flying in my face as soon as it was warm enough to be out and about. The sun was not yet visible over the mountains in the east and there was a cool wind blowing in from the west. I was slightly cold but walking soon warmed me up. I ate on the road once again as I was eager to get somewhere more hospitable and I didn't have a fire to cook on, as there was no wood to be found in the marsh and food had to be eaten cold.

It was about three o'clock in the afternoon of the third day of my journey and I had eventually stopped to eat when I saw a figure coming toward me in the distance. They were wearing a cloak and carrying a pack and walking stick. I quickly pulled the cloak off the back of my pack and put it around my shoulders, pinning it from the inside to hide the brooch from sight. I pulled the hood up over my head and made sure that none of my clothing was visible. It was a chilly day but under the sun and out of the wind that was blowing on the road I was too hot with the cloak over me. I shifted uncomfortably, wishing the other person would hurry up and pass by.

As he drew nearer, I could tell it was a man. I was glad I had covered myself with the cloak now for I saw he was dressed in strange clothing. He was limping slightly but seemed determined to press on for as long as possible. There was no town visible nearby and I guessed he wanted to make it to the shelter of the hills I had left behind as soon as possible. The wind couldn't be felt on the other side of the hills.

As he came to me he stopped and took in my appearance. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I asked

He looked up quickly, as startled as I was, at the sound of my voice. The timbre of my voice had changed and I was speaking in a different language than any I knew, perhaps the language of this country? The language was beautiful; it was smooth and flowing like a rippling stream, joyful as the sunshine in spring and filled with all the beauty of the world. My voice was less rough than it had been, as fair and clear as ringing bells.

I have always been told I have a beautiful voice, but I always thought it sounded wrong, not clear enough and too rough. I like to sing though and if nobody minded (and sometimes even if they did) I would sing constantly. I had been too busy enjoying the world around me while I was walking and hadn't begun singing, so I hadn't heard the changes in my voice until now.

He just stared at me as if he did not believe that I was really there and had spoken to him so I stood and repeated my question in English. I was quite a bit taller than him though this did not surprise me much as I have always been taller than most people.

"Is there anything I can help you with? I noticed you were limping, if you are injured I may be able to help."

This time he answered me. "I wouldn't want to bother you. In fact I only stopped because I am surprised to see one of your kind here. One almost never sees a Ranger travelling along the roads; your kind usually go through the wild, the fact that you are a lady is even more surprising. I have never seen nor heard of anyone encountering a women of the rangers folk nor of a woman ever travelling alone."

"What makes you think I am a ranger? I spoke to you because I need your assistance and offered to help you because I believe one good turn deserves another."

"Well the fact that you spoke to me in the fair tongue is one, your cloak is of finer make than I have ever seen and you are very tall, even for one of the rangers. And to answer your earlier question, I would be extremely grateful if you would see to my leg. I can patch it up well enough but I daresay you know more of healing than I and I have nothing to bind it with. I will gladly help you if I can though."

I lowered my hood and smiled at him. "I give you my thanks. Come and sit, you can answer my questions while I fix your leg."

"May I say miss," he said as he sat down, "that if all the women of your folk are like you then the I am not surprised that none has ever seen a lady ranger for if our women were as fair and beautiful as yours, we would not let them out of our protection either. You seem mighty young to be travelling alone."

"Thank you for the compliment though I am not so young as I may seem nor am I a Ranger, I have been away from my family for nearly a year now. My home is in the south and I have been travelling." I said as I took bandages out of my first aid kit. This was mostly truth. I live in South Africa and had been away for nearly a year before I ended up here.

"That is what I need help with you see. I am unfamiliar with this part of the country and have lost my map. It would help enormously if you would tell me where I am and about the town further along this road that I am heading for. Is there somewhere there I can get a good nights rest and restock my supplies?"

His eyebrows, which had crept up his forehead while I had been speaking, furrowed suddenly as I touched a sore spot on his ankle. It was only sprained and I told him such while I pulled out bruise and sprain ointment and a wooden splint.

He spoke again as I started strapping his ankle. "You are in Eriador on the east-west road that runs between the Bree-hill and the Misty Mountains. Bree itself is the largest of the towns around here though still quite small compared to the great cities, but you will be able to get what you need. It is a strange place to those who do not live there. Both hobbits, that is, halflings to those not from around here, and men dwell there and rangers pass through quite regularly.

"You would do well to stay away from them Rangers. Though you may, unfortunately, be mistaken for one, people will not get in your way because of it and whatever you ask will most likely be done quickly and without fuss. People are very wary of them in Bree and rightly so.

"The best place to stay there is an inn on the main street of Bree called 'The Prancing Pony.' It has been there for as long as anyone can remember and you will get a bed and a hot meal better there than anywhere else."

I had finished strapping his ankle by then and had put all of my things back in my pack. It was a plain canvas pack with metal supports not dissimilar to my fathers army issue one so it didn't stand out as much as my other, smaller one would have, it being maroon and black and made of synthetic materials. I got up and he thanked me for helping him. I asked if there was anything else I could do and he shook his head saying that he would be fine and that he had better get going if he wanted to reach the place he wanted to stop before nightfall so bidding him farewell and thanking him for his help I hoisted my pack again and set off toward Bree.


	2. East-West Road, Eriador

East-West Road, Eriador

The next day found me walking along a road in the middle of no-where trying to fit the puzzle pieces that were running around in my head together.

Bree. Eriador. Then the ruin must have been the watchtower of Amon Sûl, Weathertop, the marsh I saw the Midge Marshes and the wood outside Bree the Chetwood. I wonder what year it is, which age, what has happened, which book is written about this time. If the Rangers are there then it must be the Third Age. Late in the Silmarillion, in the Hobbit or the Lord of the Rings. Aragorn isn't king yet, maybe hasn't even been born. Rivendell will be further east on this road, though hidden, and the War of Wrath and the fall of Númenór have happened.

I wonder if this is the past of earth as I know it. I visited a castle in Germany once, all the doorways were small and I had to duck to go through them. I was 14 at the time and have grown a good few inches since then but the man I encountered would have fit through them. I wonder if he was short or if I have just grown.

That raises the question of what I am. If I am indeed in middle earth then I could be a number of things. I'm too tall for a hobbit, I'm obviously not a normal human, I could be of the race of Númenór, tall and fair. I could be Rohirrim if they exist south yet, they have the same blonde/brown hair that I have, though mine is probably darker than theirs, or I could be an elf.

I have always admired elves. I love nature and am an outdoorsman, woman, whatever. I love animals of all kinds including insects, I love singing and dancing, I read and write and play music. The elves always seemed a perfectly balanced mixture of all of those for all that they definitely aren't perfect. You only have to look at Fëanor and his sons to see that. For all that I may seem perfect from the previous description, I'm most definitely not. I'm closed off, impersonal, a showoff. I crave attention, to be noticed, I think that everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault, I'm messy, disorganized, forgetful, lazy, irresponsible, sarcastic and sleep too much.

I reached up and touched my ears. Much to my disappointment, they were still round as I expected. So I sound like an elf, look like an elf, seem like an elf in every way except that my ears are round and I'm pretty sure I'm not immortal.

So I'm probably one of the Númenóreans, though my hair is fair, not dark like theirs.

I need to find the rangers and see if they can take me to Rivendell. Lord Elrond is the Lore-Master of Middle Earth and if I am ever going to get home or if I am here for a purpose then I need to know. In the notes somewhere in one of Tolkien's books I have read that Rivendell is "a place visited on the way to all deeds, or 'adventures'." If I am here to do something specific then I will have to pass through there sometime and it is worth going there anyway to see if Elrond can help me discover what I am and if he can help me find a place to stay.

My only problem is that I have no money and I can't stay at the Prancing Pony without paying. I will see if I can set up camp in the Chetwood and go into the inn in the evenings until the rangers pay it a visit and I get a chance to speak to them. I can last out for a while with the amount of food I have as long as I have water but it won't last forever and I don't know enough about the plants here to gather any for food. I can set snares for meat if I need to but I would prefer not to kill anything.

If worst comes to worst I will have to sell some of the things I have or find a job. Considering I look so different, the job would be a last resort.

By now the sun was low in the sky and I'd guess that I have about two hours of light until I have to stop walking. I could see the Chetwood about an hour off so that leaves me an hour once I get there to find a suitable place to camp.

A song popped into my head so I sang it. Now that I have figured out what I'm going to do I feel better about this whole situation.

After about a half hour of walking I realized that I didn't have as much light left as I had thought. The wood was casting long shadows out eastward and I saw the evening star, Eärendil, shining in the golden sky. The theme from The Fellowship of the Ring came to me then and I began singing.

"May it be an evening star shines down upon you. May it be when darkness falls, your heart will be true. You walk a lonely road, oh how far you are from home…"

I thought it suited my situation almost perfectly. Evening star, check. Darkness falling, check. Lonely road, check. Far from home, check. The only thing that didn't check out was the heart being true bit. I didn't have anything to be true to.

Just as I finished my song I stop and see the wood before me. I step cautiously into the trees and see that the underbrush isn't particularly thick but good enough for shelter, firewood and to screen me from view.

I find a small clearing with long grass and check it over to see that nothing is living there and, when I decide that I am the only inhabitant, take my pack off my shoulders.

My pack is heavier than I'm used to and my shoulders are a bit sore but I am surprised that I made it here in such a short time when it took Aragorn and the Hobbits several days to cross a shorter distance. They did go through the wood and the marshes though so that would have slowed them down as well as the fact that the Hobbits probably walk slower than the 'big folk'.

I take my bivvy sack out of my pack and set it on the ground. I slide my sleeping bag inside it and prop the open end up with two short sticks so that I have a long low tent which opens at one end and is only two feet or so high. I then collect firewood, just enough to cook on tonight and to bank the fire till tomorrow morning.

Once that is done I take out my magnesium block and flint and begin shaving pieces of the soft metal off into the nest of kindling I set up in the middle of a ring of stones. Picking up my flint and steel, I strike a spark into the magnesium. It takes me a few tries to get a big enough spark, but when it hits the magnesium it flares and suddenly the small sticks are blazing as a result of the mini explosion it causes.

I feed the fire with ever-larger pieces of wood until I am sure it won't go out then set off with my water bottles to find a useable source of water. Using my ears I eventually find a small spring coming out of the side of the hill. It looks clean enough so I fill both bottles from it and head back to my camp.

It's dark when I get back and I quickly set about filtering the water through a pair of old socks and then, after emptying my billycan of its contents, fill it with water and set it over the fire.

A billycan is, as its name suggests, a large can with a handle and a lid. It can be hung over a fire and is waterproof. Mine holds between one and two liters of water and is extremely useful.

Once my water is boiled I take out a packet of rations I empty the contents into the billycan and set it over the flames for a while. Its nothing fancy just dehydrated vegetables and pasta. After eating as much as I can I put the rest of the food back into the packet and seal it then put it in the rinsed out billycan and shut the lid to keep it away from anything other than me which might want to eat it.

Putting more wood on the fire I pull my pack from in front of the fire where I was sitting on it to the entrance of my sleeping place. I crawl into my sleeping bag pulling my pack into the entrance behind me so that it wont get wet and so I can use it as a pillow. It's a bit stuffy but it keeps me dry.

The woods here sound different to the ones at home and it takes me a while to fall asleep but when I do I sleep soundly.

The next morning I woke with the sun again, which is unusual for me. Even when doing survival training and scenarios at home it would be quite late when I woke up, not even the sun could wake me. Unless I was too hot, too cold or getting wet I didn't wake up early.

I ate the rest of my food from last night, made sure the fire was out and packed up my stuff before heading out. I had found some biltong (dried meat) the night before and was happily munching it while I walked. I hadn't had meat in a few days and I was happy to have some now even if it was only a tiny piece.

I made my way up Bree-hill towards Bree itself remembering that Bree was more accepting and friendly to strange folk than most other places and was glad that I had ended up here rather than somewhere like Gondor or Mirkwood. For all that Mirkwood was an elven realm I did not want to encounter Thranduil at a bad time or come anywhere near the spiders and other evil things that live there. Gondor was too close to Mordor for my liking even if Sauron didn't inhabit it just now and they didn't seem too friendly to strange folk.

Coming within sight of Bree I left the path and went back into the Chetwood. I found a secluded spot far from the road and climbed up into a suitable looking tree, pulling my pack up after me. I then took out a change of clothes which I could see from the fabric was a pair of black leggings and a long-sleeved purple shirt which comes down to about mid-thigh. It would do, though I'm sure the purple would stand out this close to the shire where yellows, greens and browns are most common.

Changing into these I pulled on a pair of black boots which come up to about mid-calf. They are lined with fake grey fur, made of a soft, felt-like material and can be squashed easily. These and my hiking boots, which I had been wearing, are my only shoes and I need to try and keep them from getting too dirty. I pulled out the grey cloak and the gold brooch and, after securing my pack to the tree, jumped down.

It was about midday but I wasn't hungry so I spent a little while making a trail from the tree to the road using woodcraft signs so that I would be able to find my way back. I then returned to the tree, checking my trail and climbing back up found some tea bags and dried fruit amongst all the stuff. Taking these I jumped down again and made my way back to the road, eating as I went.

I put the cloak on when I came near the road, the brooch on the outside this time then I braided my hair back keeping it out of my face and secured it with a hair band that had been around my wrist. I have several bangles and bracelets on my wrists and ankles and had a watch too but that is gone now, replaced with a bracelet I had left at home when I left on my trip. I had several on now that I didn't have with me but I only noticed them now that I thought about them. I am so used to wearing things on my wrists that a few more doesn't make me think twice.

Pulling the hood of the cloak over my face I wished for some hairpins. My fringe and the other, shorter pieces of my hair were bound to fall out and I worried that they would either annoy me or be seen when I didn't want them to be.

Stepping out into the road I noted that it was about two hours till sunset at which time I would go into the inn. I decided to walk around Bree for a bit and see what it was like. My cloak swirled around my feet as I walked and I had to hold it closed against the wind. I was about a kilometer out of Bree when I started, and was now drawing up to the open gate.

As I walked through it the gatekeeper stopped me. He was a short man, like the other I had met on the road and had long dirty hair that was just starting to grey.

"I don' think I seen you 'round here afore and you don' 'ave a pack. Where you come from an' whats your bus'ness 'n Bree?" he asked me in accented English, or Westron as it was known here.

I let my fringe fall in my face and my braid fall over my shoulder, out of the cloak and spoke in as high and clear a voice as I could manage.

"I am travelling from my peoples city west of here to another in the east and am in need of supplies. I came to see if it would be possible to get them here."

"Your kind hardly pass through towns on their journeys and usually go west and ne'er return not the other way 'round. What reason be you, a lone maiden, doing things the other way, I wonder?"

I was about to tell him that that was for me to know and that if he wanted to keep his nose he'd better keep it out of my business, though much more politely than that, when he turned to go back to his hut next to the gate muttering.

"But that's none o' my bus'ness either way an' I know how secret you folk are about everything."

I shook my head and walked on, pulling my braid back into the shadow of my hood.


	3. Bree

Bree

Walking through the town was a huge eye opener for me. I knew from the man I had met on the road that I was indeed in middle earth. I also knew that the town I had just entered was Bree, that I was likely to be mistaken for a ranger and that the Prancing Pony was the place to go. I was amazed that it was already here I should have expected that though. The Fellowship of the Ring does say that it has been "kept by the family of Butterbur from time beyond record." The fact that I would be thought of as a ranger would serve my purpose well as the Dúnedain of the north were the people I was looking for.

As I walked through the street toward the prancing pony I was well aware of how my grey cloak was of much finer material and make than any I had seen here so far. It was also not in the style made for travelling. That coupled with the fact that it was clasped with a golden and ruby brooch stood out in the small town.

I stepped into the inn and was greeted by the smell of alcohol and warm food. Making my voice lower and rougher, I asked for a mug of hot water and, upon receiving it, went to sit in a dark corner where I could observe the patrons without being watched too closely myself. Digging through my pockets I found my teabags. I put one into my mug of hot water steeped it and then sat sipping it slowly.

I suddenly realized that I wasn't wearing glasses but that my sight was good enough for me not to need them at all. In fact I think my sight is better now than it ever was with glasses. I absolutely hate it when my glasses steam up from hot food or drink and I can't see, the absence of that was what made me realize that I wasn't wearing them.

I was halfway through my tea when I saw the first of the Rangers enter the inn. They were easy to spot for they, like me, wore long cloaks with the hoods shadowing their faces and, also like me, were taller and leaner than the rest of the Edain. They made their way over toward the table I was sitting at, obviously expecting it to be empty, before noticing me and turning to sit at a table near mine. I finished my tea, seeing another three come in and sit down, giving me curious glances as they noted my presence.

When the third group entered the inn I stood up. Taking my mug, I made my way toward the front. When I encountered the Dúnedain, I set the next part of my plan into motion.

"_Excuse me gentlemen, may I pass?"_ I asked in Sindarin, letting my voice go back to its, now natural, fair sound.

They looked up sharply, recognizing the words and tried to see my face beneath the shadow of my hood. The light was behind me however and, when they couldn't make out my face, they stepped aside for me to pass. I heard a murmur go through the inn at this.

No one was close enough to hear my voice but they had been watching to see what would happen to me, the stranger, when I encountered the Dúnedain and the fact that they moved aside for me was, apparently, surprising. Maybe the Dúnedain hadn't lost the arrogance of the Númenóreans yet. This would make them less likely to listen to me, and more difficult to deal with. They are friendly with the elves though and had the sense not to listen to Sauron so they can't be all that bad.

I got more water for my tea and sat down again, observing the people around me. The hobbits who talked and smoked, drank and sang, the men who sat conversing in loud voices, the rangers who sat smoking and murmuring quietly amongst themselves. Every now and again I would catch someone looking at me and they would glance quickly away, like they were scared of me. The stranger of whom even the Dúnedain were wary.

Eventually I saw the gatekeeper enter. His watch was obviously over and he had come in for a drink or maybe a meal. He saw me looking at him and raised his mug slightly. I nodded back. He was obviously in a much better mood than earlier. No one except the rangers noticed this for which I was grateful.

When I saw the Rangers starting to get restless and were just about ready to leave I got up, wanting them to follow me before they went up to their rooms and giving them an opportunity to do so now. I made my way toward the door but stopped as I passed the gatekeeper.

"Please, will you keep my identity and the fact that I am a woman a secret?" I asked him. "It could be dangerous for me if someone knew that I was travelling alone."

"O' course." He said. "It's my bus'ness to repor' on suspicious characters no' ta tell e'ry pers'n I speak ta 'bout the people I see a' the gate. I'm no' a gosspin' ol' lady."

I smiled at that, for it made me think of Gimli, and went on my way, leaving him in peace to enjoy his rest.

I slipped out of the door of the inn and into the moonlit street. The moon was three quarters full and the world was awash with soft grey light. There were clouds in the sky and they scudded across the stars like ships with white sails. I looked up, searching the sky for Eärendil, the mariner, father to lord Elrond and to his brother Elros, father of the line of Númenór, which now were the Dúnedain and the men of Gondor.

That reminded me of one of my favourite parts of The Lord of the Rings. I began to chant as I walked down the road away from Bree.

"Eärendil was a mariner  
>that tarried in Arvernien;<br>he built a boat of timber felled  
>in Nimbrethil to journey in;<br>her sails he wove of silver fair,  
>of silver were her lanterns made,<br>her prow he fashioned like a swan,  
>and light upon her banners laid."<p>

"I am not going to try and guess,' said Frodo smiling.

'You needn't,' said Bilbo. 'As a matter of fact it was all mine. Except that the Dúnedan (I changed that bit so that anyone who might hear me wouldn't know of whom I spoke) insisted on my putting in a green stone. He seemed to think it important. I don't know why. Otherwise he obviously thought the whole thing rather above my head, and he said that if I had the cheek to make verses about Eärendil in the house of Elrond, it was my affair. I suppose he was right."

I laughed when I finished this and twirled about in the road, still laughing as I did so not caring if the Dúnedain heard me. For they were the only ones who would out here. My cloak spun about me flaring open and swinging behind me.

I walked slowly enjoying the beauty of the of Elbereth's stars. I started singing again.

"Home is behind,  
>the world ahead<br>and there are many paths to tread.  
>Through shadow,<br>to the edge of night,  
>until the stars are all alight.<br>Mist and shadow,  
>cloud and shade,<br>all shall fade.  
>All shall fade."<p>

I stopped. I could tell the Dúnedain were following me and I stood by my path back to my pack, waiting for them to catch up. My hood was still up and beneath it I was unbraiding my hair.

My back was toward them when they eventually drew near to me. I turned around, lowering my hood as I did so, and smiled at them. My hair, which is varying shades of blonde and brown was now streaked various shades of grey, black, white and silver in the moonlight. I watched them walk closer. I should have been scared of them, all these men who are considered people to stay away from, yet I knew differently.

"Hail Dúnedain of the North, mighty among men, friends of hobbits, elves, and all the free peoples of Middle Earth." I called when they were near enough to hear me clearly.

"Hail, Lady." Came the answering call. "What reason has one such as yourself to come to these lands?"

They were now coming closer and I walked to meet them. " I seek the counsel of Lord Elrond but am unfamiliar with this land and do not know the whereabouts of Imladris. I do know, however that it is known to the Dúnedain and so I sought you out, hoping that you might be kind enough to show me the way or to take me with you when next you travel thence."

"You are fortunate lady for we will go that way come morning. Where are you staying the night for we will leave early in the morning and must know where to find you."

"I will camp in the woods not far from where we are currently. I have no money for a room at an inn and prefer sleeping outside."

They laughed. "We too have some of our company who prefer staying out of doors and you, from what we have seen so far, are very much like them. If you wish we will lead you to their camp and you may stay there for the night. They are folk of Lord Elrond's house and you will be safer with them than if you stay out here alone."

I laughed upon hearing this. "That would make sense." I said, "The folk of Imladris are known to be friends of the Dúnedain and to travel with you are they not?"

"Indeed Lady." One of them replied.

"I shall go and fetch my pack then. Stay or come with me it is your choice but I shall return shortly."

A few of the group opted to come while the rest stayed. I lead them through the woods for about 500m till I came to the tree.

"Wait here." I told them, then, after dropping my cloak to the ground, I climbed up. I dropped my pack to the ground and jumped down after it, then picked up my cloak and attached it to the pack before hoisting the pack onto my shoulders.

They all looked at me stunned. "May I take the pack from you? My name is Daroth."

"You may take the pack when we get to the road." I said, it suddenly occurred to me that, because everything was vacuum packed and I could fit more into the pack, the pack should be heavier than I am used to and I should have been having trouble carrying it. "I will not tell you my name until I know which one to use here. I have several and some might not be safe for common use though I am not sure which ones they might be."

This wasn't true but I didn't want to tell anyone my name until I had cleared it with someone who was in the know, hopefully Mithrandir if I could find him.


	4. East-West Road, Eriador and Imladris

Chapter 4: East-West road, Eriador

When I, and the few who had come with me to fetch my things, had rejoined the main group, my pack had been taken from me and I was lead to the place where the elves were camping.

They had been quite surprised to see me to say the least. They were quite a bit taller than me, maybe five or six inches above my 5ft 10 height and it made me feel short.

They greeted me cordially and were mildly surprised by my voice when I replied. The rangers then spoke to them of my preferring to sleep outside and joked about me being Peredhil. The Elves didn't find this as amusing as they did but grit their teeth and bore it. I don't think the Dúnedain quite understand how serious it is when an elf falls for a mortal.

When the mortal dies and their soul goes to a fate beyond the world (of which the elves know naught), the elf will most likely fade from grief and their soul goes to the halls of Mandos. Eventually the elf is born again and will live out the rest of the ages of the world, as is their fate.

After discussing our plans for the morning, they left and I got myself ready for bed. I decided to forego sleeping in the bivvy sack and instead just lay on top of it in my sleeping bag looking up at the stars until I fell asleep.

The next morning I was awoken before dawn by one of the Elves. He had dark hair like most of the Noldor and he glowed slightly in the dim light.

"Come, it is time to leave." He said.

I sat up and blearily rubbed my eyes; I had been up late the night before and was quite grumpy at being woken so early but by the time I had finished packing up my things that mood was gone.

For all that it was early it was a beautiful morning; the birds were just waking up and everything was fresh. I just felt like singing my heart out but I was worried about what the elves might think so I kept quiet.

When all was ready and we had eaten, we shouldered our packs and made our way toward the road where the Dúnedain were waiting for us. They had two packhorses with them so probably wanted to move quickly but weren't in enough of a hurry to travel on horses instead of walking. Daroth took my pack from me and secured it to one of the horses.

We set out and after we'd been walking a while I couldn't help it anymore, I began singing softly under my breath

"The Road goes ever on and on  
>Down from the door where it began.<br>Now far ahead the Road has gone,  
>And I must follow, if I can,<p>

Pursuing it with eager feet,  
>Until it joins some larger way,<br>Where many paths and errands meet.  
>And whither then? I cannot say."<p>

The sun was just coming up over the horizon. This is why I should get up earlier; the world is so beautiful and peaceful at this time.

We were walking along the road instead of through the bush as I had expected but I'm not complaining. I don't want to go through the same things as Aragorn and the hobbits; I had enough of the midges just walking past the marshes never mind through them.

We walked until nightfall then stopped and made camp. We had travelled further in one day than I had walked with my pack in the same amount of time and I was tired. I fell asleep almost as soon as I lay down and I slipped into uncomfortable dreams.

_I was warm and comfortable wherever I was before I was jolted sharply into a black silence broken only when I hear a voice say,__**"Welcome to my halls. Though I haven't seen you in many years or know how or why you came to be here at this time I recognise you nonetheless. Yavanna will be pleased to finally know where you are."**_

_The voice didn't seem to be coming from any direction and I couldn't see because it was dark._

_No, not dark._

_There was no light or dark here, it wasn't so much a matter of seeing as of being aware of your surroundings. I let myself drift and fuzzy 'images' began to register with me. A large hall with walls covered in tapestries. There was someone, a being, here with me but I couldn't make them out, everything else was clearer to me than it had been, though not perfect, except for the being._

_I suddenly felt like I was a dust bunny under a couch and there was a vacuum cleaner being moved toward me. I was sucked out of that place and put into an uncomfortable container that felt all wrong. It was black and silent_and then I woke up.

The elf that had been on watch was just going over to wake his friend and I figured that it was time to get up. It seemed dimmer and greyer this morning than it had been yesterday though there was no fog or mist. It seemed almost like my dream, like I was losing touch with the world around me.

When everyone was up we ate, packed and left. We walked all day then set up camp when night fell. I didn't dream that night, nor for the rest of our journey; my mind, while I slept, was just filled with a grey haziness, which seemed to carry over to the waking world. I felt no need to sing as I usually would have and sort of drifted along as the days went by. I eventually stopped paying attention to the conversations going on around me and stopped looking at the world as it passed by. If someone spoke to me I didn't realize or react to it and my actions soon became methodical, I was losing touch with reality.

I did notice when we met someone on the road, coming from the direction we were headed. He said something to the elves and then made his way over to me. He was slightly less dim than the others and there seemed to be a light shining out of him.

It was that which drew me to him more than anything else. The light felt familiar, more comfortable than how I was now and I wanted it. I wanted to become part of it. The fact that it came from within a person ceased to exist. Everything faded except for the light.

I reached for it and discovered that there was something blocking it from me and that it was incomplete, dimmer than it should be. It was the same light, yes, but more like a reflection, a piece of something else which I had known before and lost a long time ago.

That was when I lost touch with all that was around me; everything ceased to exist except the slowly fading light. Sometimes there were other lights, further away and brighter than the first. They moved overhead and came and went but I couldn't get to them through the grey haze and I just stayed looking at them until they went away and I didn't see them again.

I stayed that way for some time with no change, the lights growing dimmer and me wanting to flee from whatever was taking the light but I couldn't, not this time. This time I had to stay.

The change came eventually in the form of some of the haziness going away. Someone said something and things became clearer, there were two people, the one with the light and another who had only been touched by the light. It was this other who had made things clearer for me but still couldn't respond though I could hear clearly enough.

"_She's fading, I've never seen it happen like this with a human."_

"_Lord Elrond I'm still not sure if she is fully human. She doesn't look normal in either way. Her fëa and her body do not match. It is disorientating seeing two different things at once. Her physical looks are strange but her other image is familiar to me, though I can't recall where I've seen it, perhaps it was before or with Lord Námo…"_ The voice trails off. It is the one belonging to the light but I do not remain aware of it or of the other for any longer than those few moments owing to the grey dimness, which eventually fades and becomes black.

Time had no meaning and my thoughts and consciousness drifted and strayed before coming back together all at once to the same grey hall from my earlier dream.

The being was there and this time I could see him. **"I see you have returned, though at my summons this time, I hope you will remain here instead of whisking away to Arda before you were meant to as you did previously."**

Ah, so it wasn't a dream.

"**Indeed not." **I started, had I said that out loud?He laughed, **"Come there is much which needs to happen and little time for it to happen in and though time hardly has meaning here, it still passes."**


	5. Lórien

Chapter 5: Lórien

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><p><em><strong>BOLD ITALICS is Quenya<strong>_

_ITALICS is Sindarin_

Normal is the common tongue

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><p>"<strong>I cannot heal her all the way, she is needed too soon, there is not enough time and she can't heal without him." <strong>

"**And who is this 'him' you speak of?"**

"**The only one who can repair some of the damage done to her, he will teach her to trust again. I cannot do that without doing a full re-birth and having her grow from the infancy stage again but there is not enough time or reason to do that since it can be fixed with time. All I will do is restore her Fëa to its original form. **

**She has altered herself to fit with whatever situation arises and has managed to suppress some parts of herself. Unfortunately a lot of those are the more pure parts of her and, though she was always truer to her own nature than that of those around her, she still had to be similar enough to them to fit in."**

"**Well, what do we do then, I can only see so much brother."**

"**It is not only you and I who will have to help her. She needs to learn much in a short amount of time. She will spend a week here and two with you, a few days for travelling and then it will be all up to Olorin."**

"**What about her other form? The one that is currently unconscious in Imladris. And her family? She had one before and she does love them, even if she tries to distance herself. She will ask questions soon. She has been too complacent, she is going to break."**

"**I do not know and it troubles me as much as, if not more so than, it does you. As much as I know, I have only vague knowledge of her part in the music. It is one thing which is not, has never been, clear to me."**

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><p>I spent both much and little time in Mandos and can only recall a small amount of it. Indeed, that much is enough. I find that I do not want to remember any more than I do for, though it helped me, it was immensely painful. Sometimes, a bone has to be re-broken before it can be set. The time that I spent there seemed like ages to me and wasn't all pleasant, but the time that passed in the outside world, I discovered, was only a few days.<p>

I moved to Lorien after that and was introduced to Irmo and Estë. I had now met four of the Valar (I had met lady Vairë in Mandos) and I wasn't at all scared of them. They treated me like a precious child who had been lost. Sometimes they called me by names that I either did not understand or remember. I spent about one and a half timeless weeks in Lorien being visited and educated by several of the Valar and Maiar before anything interesting happened.

The only Valar I had yet to meet were Nienna, Vána, Manwë, Varda and Ulmo. The place I was staying in Lórien was a glade of Mallorn trees. I had woken there after my visit to Mandos. I was shocked when I realized the body I had woken in was not the one I was used to.

I looked similar, tall with golden blonde-brown hair and eyes which couldn't decide whether they wanted to be blue, green or grey, a similar face, body shape and skin tone. It wasn't really the body itself that was so different, rather the feeling of it. It felt more right; I was more comfortable with it. I was an elf.

Yavanna was the one who came to visit me most of all the Valar. She would come and teach me about all the plants and animals she could think of, what their uses were if they had one and how they fit into the world around them. I absolutely loved this and soaked up the knowledge like a sponge does water.

The day Lady Vána came to visit me was the day that everything changed. I was by myself and was just singing and dancing, doing whatever I felt like. I was whirling through the golden-yellow flowers, which grew everywhere, and loving the warmth and light of the sun as it shone merrily down, as if it wanted to dance with me.

I hadn't seen her there and got quite a fright when she spoke. _**"I almost forgot how lovely your dancing is. It's wonderful to see you dancing like that again. It is different now that you have your body but just as beautiful nonetheless."**_

"_**Lady Vána, what do you mean?"**_

Her eyes widened, _**"you don't remember,"**_ she breathed before telling me to stay put and going to fetch her sister.

She returned a few minutes later with Yavanna and then went off to do whatever Valar did in their spare time, leaving us alone.

Yavanna sat down in the pavilion in the center of the glade.

"_**My sister says you do not remember. Why the Fëanturi either didn't notice or didn't tell the rest of us is a mystery, but Mandos usually has a reason and if there is one, often they do not say."**_

"_**What is it that I don't remember?! I remember everything. I was born and raised as a human child then was abruptly thrown into this crazy place where I seem to pop in and out of Mandos' halls against my will and get sucked around from one body to another when I don't ask for it. Is there nothing in my life, not even my body that stays with me? Everything changes, I know that, but can't something just change normally for me for once in my life? This is why I don't get attached, people die or leave, things change, and I'm left to fend for myself. Non-one ever bothers to stop and think what will happen to other people when they leave. What happens when I finally do let someone in? Will they up and leave like everyone else? Even if they're still around physically, the emotional attachment can be broken or fade."**_

While initially I had been standing, I was now lying on my bed, curled up in a ball, hugging my knees. Tears were streaming down my face and I wanted to hide, to cry somewhere that no-one could see me. I don't have an issue with people seeing me cry, as long as its not when I'm crying about this. It's my greatest fear; I don't want anyone knowing about this. My psychologist knows some, but not the full extent of it.

"_**You **_**don't**_** remember."**_ Yavanna whispered as she came and sat on the bed, gathering me up in her arms as if I weighed nothing. Either she had grown or I had shrunk, for I felt like a small child in their mother's lap and, like a mother, she just held me and rocked me until I fell asleep.

When I woke again, I was lying in my bed. It was night but Yavanna was still there. She wasn't in the pavilion but rather in the garden I had begun planting with what she had taught me during my time here.

"_**I…"**_

"_**Don't apologize my child." **_I hadn't even managed to get the words out. I blushed and looked down.

"_**Why, what do I not remember? You keep calling me by names I do not know and referring to things that I don't recall; though you seem to think I should."**_

She sighed, _**"It's a long tale, a longer story than that of the Eldar and it will take a long time to tell.**_

"_**When Eä was young my husband, Aulë, created the dwarves. I was afraid that they would destroy all that I had created, so"**_

" _**- You spoke to Eru and he created the Ents to protect the trees."**_

She looked at me startled. _**"You know of that?"**_

"_**And the basics all that happened between the Ainulindalë to the Fourth Age. I also know some of the specifics of the main events of the Elder Days, Fëanor, the Wars of Beleriand and the War of Wrath, The Last Alliance of Men and Elves, the events leading up to and the events of The War of the Ring and some of the beginning of the Fourth Age.**_

"_**I've figured out that its somewhere in the Third Age as the Dúnedain are active but not overly suspicious so it must be during close to the Watchful Peace, Lord Elrond is still at Imladris, Is Olórin in Arda yet? He is or will be the Last of the Maiar to go. I never could discover **_**when**_** exactly he arrived."**_

She looked at me, _**"You are mostly correct, however, the Watchful Peace, as you call it, is not yet here. Where did you learn all that?"**_

"_**On Earth, the place I was in before I came here."**_

"_**Earth?"**_ she asked.

"_**Yes, just earth without the middle. Ask Varda where it is, she might know. Other than that I have no ideas besides asking Eru himself. The stories of Middle Earth and Eä were told as legends, which most believed only imaginary stories. You didn't answer my question though." **_

She nodded at my explanation and said _**"Olórin is still here, for now. You know much of the history of Middle Earth, more than any other of your race or indeed any born after the creation of Eä but what is interesting is that you don't know the part which concerns you. **_

"_**Please try not to interrupt, even if you think you know what comes next. To pick up where I left off I spoke to Eru and He created the Ents, yes, but I also asked Him for something else. I asked for someone to teach my ways to, someone who would help me heal the hurts and destruction of the world. He said that someone would come and that I would know him or her when they came. That someone was you."**_

"_**As my husband, Aulë, has the dwarves, Ulmo, the sea creatures, Oromë, Nahar and whomever joins his hunt, my Lord Manwë has his eagles, I have you: A single child of the Eldar, who appreciates life and growth as much as I. Though you are not a child of my flesh, you are the child of my spirit. **_

"_**Your Fëa was lost at Cúiviennen. Your body was there, but you did not wake. **_

"_**You should have been the first to wake of all the Eldar, before even the Vanyar and their king, Ingwë. You were to help them in their early days in Middle Earth. Eru had a different purpose though, and your body remained by the Water of Awakening while your Fëa was elsewhere. Your hröa was borne to Valinor by Oromë when he left the rest of the Eldar to bring Ingwë, Finwë and Elwë to Aman. **_

"_**The reason we know that you were meant to wake first is because of what Ingwë, Finwë and Elwë told us. They said that when they woke, the Elves were arrayed about them in ever widening circles. They were in the second ring and in the middle of them lay you, curled on your side. The rest of the Eldar, curled up as you were, stretched around them in ever widening rings. **_

"_**The next of the Eldar to awaken were those in the third ring, then the fourth, and so on, until you were the only one left. You glowed slightly in the starlight, more so than the other elves." **_

I suddenly remembered something and I laughed slightly. Yavanna looked at me questioningly._** "It seems Illúvatar has a sense of humor. The shape that the last ring/s and myself would have formed; a circle with a dot in the middle, means 'gone home.'**_

Her eyebrows went up._** "Indeed" **_she laughed before carrying on,_** "You weren't dead but you didn't awaken and when the elves started to go missing, many thought that Morgoth managed to steal your fëa before it even found your body. That was why so many were scared when Oromë came, and took your hröa with him when he took Ingwë, Finwë and Elwë to Aman. They thought, at first, that perhaps he was the one who had taken the rest of the elves. **_

"_**The first time you were seen at the mingling of the lights was on the day that your hröa entered Aman. You danced on the hill and were seen by Manwë, high on Taniquetil, the Valar were called and all came down to Ezellohar and all the Maiar came also. But by the time they arrived, the mingling of the lights was over and you were gone. Of all of us only Oromë was absent, for he could not leave you and the others. **_

"_**We remained by the trees while he traveled with you and eventually came to Laurelin and Telperion where we were all gathered, then at the second mingling of the lights since your hröa's arrival in Valinor, it was laid between the trees. Your fëa appeared and the kings of the Elves rejoiced. Then something happened which we did not expect. **_

"_**You stopped dancing and turned to look curiously at your hröa, then you went and ran your fingers through its hair and wherever your fingers touched, your hair was streaked with silver and gold until it shone as the light of the trees. Your fëa kissed your hröa on the forehead and then disappeared as the light of Laurelin faded. **_

_**You were then taken to Lorien and laid in a grove of trees and the trees eventually, over the yeni changed to ones with trunks of silver and leaves of gold and the flowers, which grew there in the grass, became golden. **_

"_**They are the only people who have seen your hröa before; the Eldar from Cúiviennen. Núrumardé (Death-Dweller) and Avacúivien (Woman who Doesn't Wake) they called you when they knew you then, but other names you had as well. Sometimes, during the mingling of the lights, your fëa would stir and the shape of your form would appear in the gold and silver light of the Trees and you would dance and sing on Ezellohar. The Eldar of that time called you Calafëa, Spirit of Light. **_

"_**Many of those who saw you afterward, when they reached Valinor, assumed that you did not awaken because you were already waiting for them in Aman and you had chosen the trees as your vessel instead of your body, and indeed they were partly right. I myself, when I was creating the trees, did not know that you were helping me, not only Eru as I had first thought.**_

"_**The day the trees were made should have signaled the coming of the Eldar, as the sun and moon did for the Edain. Instead you chose to awaken in the Trees, instead of with them. Perhaps it was because the stars weren't kindled yet, but you found the only source of light. I fear that the first worries among the Eldar were because you wouldn't wake, not because of Morgoth. Perhaps it was a combination of the two. **_

_**When Fëanor created the Silmarils, he did not trap the light, but rather you touched them and put the light into them and they shone like your hröa's hair."**_

She paused for a moment and a pained look came across her face. She sighed and continued.

"_**Then Ungoliant came. Your fëa fled in face of her darkness but not before you were affected. Your hair darkened and became as it is now. We feared that you had died or been consumed by the darkness but you were not in Mandos' halls and your body lived still. **_

_**The light of the trees remained now only in you and in the glade where your hröa lay, and in the Silmarils. It wasn't possible to use you to revive the trees without killing you and possibly part of Lórien and that may not have worked as you had no spirit. Fëanor's Silmarils were the only option as they had a spirit and fire of their own as well as that which your fëa had put in them. **_

_**It was mainly because it is his duty to look after the fëar that Námo placed a doom on the Silmarils for they, even now, hold a small part of your Fëa and that part, is the purest thing in all of Eä; unsullied by the world or any evil in it. Now, though, that has changed, none save Illúvatar himself are ever like that again, even those who are reborn.**_

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><p>AN:

This chapter might be a bit confusing because it has so much information in it and there are some things which are not properly explained. Things will make more sense as events unfold but if you have any questions, feel free to ask and I will answer them as best I can without giving away the rest of the story.

I will put links to summaries of the various parts of the Silmarillion which affect the story on my profile.

Lots-'O-Fluff

Caity


	6. AN: Gremlins

**A/N: **

**Gremlins have struck my computer and it refuses to turn on. All my writing is saved on a backup hard drive but I can't get to it without a computer. **

**I am still writing my stories (on paper rather than typed) but the next chapters are all digital and I don't want to try and re-write them on my tablet because I will leave some important piece of information out and confuse both you and myself. My computer should be fixed sometime soon, then it is just a matter of typing out all the new chapters that I have written in hard copy and posting the ones which are finished.**

**Much thanks to all of you who have reviewed, favourited, followed or even just read my stories, I wasn't expecting so much positive feedback and it is truly gratifying. **

**Lots-'O-Fluff**

**Caity **


	7. AN: Hiatus

A/N:

I have had several people ask me whether this story is abandoned or not because I haven't updated in a while. It is not abandoned, but I am putting it on hiatus as it needs to be reworked.

I have the plot and many of the details worked out and it will likely become a several book tale, but for that I need to set the groundwork better than I have. I have already noticed several discrepancies in the chapters I've posted and the other earlier ones which are written, that will cause confusion and over complicate things which should be simpler.

Several things in the beginning are drawn out and long winded when they don't need to be and others, which should be explained, aren't. If there is anything you would like to suggest or something you would like clarifying from what is already posted please let me know as it will help me to better the story.

Lots-'O-Fluff

Caity


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